Relationships
I have been doing a lot of thinking ~ especially about relationships. Especialy about one present and one former relationship.
There is an ex ~ William ~ and he has said that he shouldn't have let me go years ago. I do know his ex had something to do with it, threatened to cut off his visitation rights to his two boys, and even took all his money in a child support battle. He was forced to move in with her ~ and choose her over me. That, I understood, and supported, as I know he loves his boys very much and has always been a good father.
As for me, I moved on, entered a relationship in whom I was hurt very badly ~ the guy had an online relationship with another woman ~ and yes, I do know her. I confronted him, and told that woman she could have him. She rejected him, also, and we've become friends.
The guy has moved out to another state ~ and from what I understand, he hasn't changed his ways.
Then I finally got what I've wanted for so long ~ my relationship and partnership with Jens. Since then, I've been very happy and content with her. I moved in with her after one year into the relationship ~ and we've settled down and made a home for the two of us and our five cats.
However, William has been ~ shall we say a bit insistent ~ about picking up where we left off. He doesn't seem to understand that while I still love him, I've moved on and gone into a WAY better relationship with Jens, whom I love MORE than I love him.
My relationship with Jens ~ is something I know is permament. She has been there for me, even during my bad times. She is always willing to work through anything ~ even when she feels like giving up, because she knows that continued encouragement will help me more in the long run. She knows I'll always be there for her, even when she's in a mood that would curdle milk ~ and believe me, those moods I do really dislike. I do know, that a relationship, especially a good one like we have, takes work, love and constant communication. That, in itself, is very important to me.
Even my parents, who have long suspected that I was bisexual, supports my relationship with Jens, and even commented on how much happier I am with Jens than I've been with anyone else. They, in turn, have taken her under their wings, and have worked on their relationship with her, also. That means so much to me ~ and I do love my parents and have always wanted to make them happy, even when I've been a perfect little spoiled punk brat.
I can see that I will have to keep explaining to William over and over, that I am happy with Jens, that I do not intend to leave her ever, and that I plan to make a lifetime commitment with her. He will always be in my heart, and I will always treasure the good times with him ~ but I love Jens more. He will always be a good friend, and that's what he will always be ~ a friend.
Finally...
Finally I get a slower start to a weekday morning. It's been quite a while, and I don't think it will happen again for a while.
I have a dentist appointment today, and I have to make a stop at Quest to get some blood drawn for a pro-time test. I hate that sort of thing!
Anyway, I have been marinating in my bath for a while, just mulling over things and letting the flow run between many different things ~
I do recognize this to be a weakness of mine - I let situations get to me, such as fighting between friends, harrasment by other people, and miscellaneous other bits and pieces. And when that happens, I eat, eat, and then eat some more. Right now, my weight has been yo~yo'ing between gain and loss. Sometimes I feel like giving up ~ but I know I can't afford to do so. My health depends on it.
Also, I find myself being forgetful again - I have put things off again, and I don't always remember what I was supposed to do at that moment in time. That kinda scares me ~ my biggest fear is losing my mind. I know that Alzheimer's may run in my family ~ and I pray that it won't.
I know depression does cause forgetfulness ~ and I do suffer from seasonal depression. It's just taking a bit longer to recover from it than I'd thought it would and I sure don't like that.
Thank goodness for Jens, family and good friends ~ I don't know what I'd do without them.
Sheesh. I'm sleepy. I don't wanna get up and face the day.
Oy vey. Time to get my fat white ass moving.
Slow Weekend
Wow ~ a slow weekend, indeed. The only excitement we had was a friend finally gave birth to a girl ~ and that was early Saturday morning.
Saturday, as we have been doing it for several years, my parents and I celebrated Mother's Day. I gave my mom a beautiful purple~toned calla lily plant. We took her out to lunch at the Wildflower Cafe in the Central West End, on the corner of Euclid. Delicious ~ I had the portabello sandwich, grilled to perfection. The pasta salad was good, too. All tangy with the cheese and tomatoes... not too oily, either. Dad had the chicken salad wrap with the spinach salad, and Mom had the fish sandwich with french fries. All delicious!
Back home, and we talked a while. I left to go back home to a well~manicured front lawn and a clean Jens... heh. We then went to Kmart and made another payment on our belated Christmas gifts, and then to Blockbuster where they were having a 4 DVDs for $20.00 sale. We got some good movies, too. We got Superman Returns, X-Men III, Herbie Fully Loaded, and The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy . I also got Zoom.
We then got home, had dinner and then watched Zoom. I popped some popcorn, and we watched A Night At The Museum. Both were pretty funny... heh heh.
Sunday, Jens went to her parents' home and I put away stuff in the basement, tided up and washed/dried/folded a LOT of laundry ~ almost 3 week's worth. Ugh.
Jens came home, after her softball game ~ they lost 13 to 11. Shoot. Another close game, too. We then watched Iron Chef America, and since the Food Challenge was a repeat, we watched Law & Order: Criminal Intent ~ two repeats. Still good to watch, tho.
Now it's Monday morning and time to get my ass moving.
Wonderful News!
Catherine "Catie" Grace, born on 5/12/07 at 2:04 am. She weighed 10 lbs 11 oz at birth, was 21 inches in length, has a head full of dark hair ~ and is the 2nd daughter of Thomas and Stephanie, two wonderful friends!
Ripple Effect
Thursday, May 10, 2007
To the St Louis Metro Round Table Representative on Deafness, Inc.
I believe that it is time for me to resign as Editor of the St. Louis Deaf Advocate. I have had many interested readers that have supported the rebirth of this venerable newsletter, and I was proud to have submitted three complete issues under the former Vice President Paul M. Blicharz.
However, in the last few months, I have not heard or have had any word from the current President of RTR. She, in the beginning, did indicate that she was interested in keeping this going and basically told me she would talk to the board. I have told her that the long drive after work to the DCC and back home was not in my best interests, as I put in a full day's work that would break even the hardiest camel's back, and I was usually tired and worn out, and would not be a safe driver under these conditions.
Since then, I have not had any word from her from what happened in the last few meetings about the St. Louis Deaf Advocate, or if it was even brought up at all.
In my opinion, the current President is not doing her job efficently, or most importantly, keeping me in the loop, so I feel it in my best interest to resign as RTR Editor, effective today, Thursday, May 10, 2007.
The yahoogroup, Missouri Deaf Calendar is NOT the property of St. Louis Metro Round Table Representatives on Deafness, Inc. It is MY OWN yahoogroup, free and clear. Missouri Deaf Calendar will continue, as it has for the last several years.
I wish RTR the best of luck.
Sincerely,
Missy Owoc
Editor
ST. LOUIS DEAF ADVOCATE
Resignation Letter
Thursday, May 10, 2007
To the Board Members of St. Louis Bell Club:
I have thought long and hard about my decision, and I do not see any way that it could be any different. I have grown up with a sense of honor and decency and many times over the years people have challenged that. I have gone on with it intact and not changed in any way.
At the time of the election, Thomas Russell warned everyone BEFORE the election for the President that he would not be able to act quickly as his wife and unborn baby were the top priority in his life. At that time, I thought everyone understood that and were willing to accept it. However, from the very beginning, at the first board meeting, I found out that it was not true. There were several that challenged him from the very start, and were not willing to let up. They have said over and over it was his ability that they were questioning, however, at the very first board meeting???
That makes me wonder – if it wasn’t personal from the very beginning, which it does seem to be that way. My sense of honor and decency will not allow me to serve a self-serving board that does not serve its’ members, but itself first, foremost and the members last.
Since then, I have seen the workings of this first-hand, and I am appalled at those who would do this, in the name of St. Louis Bell Club.
I have heard excuses – too many excuses that leaves me unsaitisfied. Among those excuses have been those – that the President is ineffectual, not doing anything, lacking in leadership.
It does seem that people have forgot something – in the words of the late President John F. Kennedy – “And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” Which in my thinking, would be: And so, my fellow board members and members, ask not what St. Louis Bell Club can do for you; ask what you can do for St. Louis Bell.” In other words, you, the Board, COULD HAVE asked President Thomas Russell of what you could do to help out, until his child was born, and both child and wife were safe and back home.
Did you? No, you did not. You chose instead to go behind his back, complain and whine about his performance, and vote to have him resign as President.
Let me tell you something.
At the Spring Party, a Board member asked me what she could do to help. I told her I would let her know – and when the time came, I looked for her. She was conducting business with another person for a DIFFERENT organization. Not St. Louis Bell Club business, but a DIFFERENT organization. I waved and waved to her, but she chose to ignore those around her and keep on doing what she was doing. Is this a Board member that we want? We want a Board member that will keep her priorities at that time, organized and in order. Not mixing up different business at differet organizations, during a time she knew she might be needed. I instead chose to go ahead and sell the tickets myself, even with severe pain in my knee.
Knowing this, how can we have a Board that puts other organizations ahead of St. Louis Bell Club serving us?
It was a very simple matter – just ask Thomas what they could do to help until the time he could take over the reins with a free and clear mind.
I have seen Thomas Russell put things ahead of himself, making sure his priorities were in order, and doing what was needed, all without being asked. I knew he was worried about his wife and unborn child, and that she is actually a few days late. I was perfectly willing to wait until they were safe and out of danger’s way, before he could act as a proper St. Louis Bell Club President.
Unfortunately, he never got the chance. He was asked to resign as President on Tuesday, May 8, 2007, after the board meeting on Monday, May 7, 2007, of which I was not present at.
Therefore, let this serve as my official letter of resignation as Corresponding Secretary of St. Louis Bell Club, in protest of the forced resignation of President Thomas Russell, effective Thursday, May 10, 2007.
I will hand over the briefcase and key to Vice President John Ferrari at my earliest convience.
As of today, I have taken my name off the Board yahoogroup and removed myself as moderator of the St. Louis Bell Club yahoogroup and put them in Craig Burgesen’s hands.
Thank you,
Missy Owoc
Corresponding Secretary
St. Louis Bell Club
Pictures from the DeafNation Expo Dinner at Denny's
Got the album from a good friend - she is a WONDERFUL photographer! I chose my favorites - winks.
Love this picture of myself - I look so sweet and angelic in this...
but I know, I know you're all going yeah right, yeah right...
I do look good, though...don't I?
Jens and I - now on 2 1/2 years together now.
Jenifer B and Cass - great friends to have!
Cass and her best friend, Darlene - they pratically grew up in the same households!!!
Leon and Lisa D
I have known Leon since I was seventeen, and many of you know how old I am now - which means I have known him for ALMOST thirty years...jeez. Lisa D, another great friend!
Muwahies to all my great friends!
Sunday
Sunday ~ I slept til around 10:30 am. That's when I found out Jens had been a little sick with a bad headache and upset stomach, and had fallen asleep in the green room. I blame it on the food from the DeafNation Expo ~ it was pretty bad.
We relaxed a while, so Jens could rest a bit more.
Then we left for MoKaBe's on Arsenal ~ urgh ~ many of the streets were closed for a parade.
We finally arrived at 2:30 pm ~ 30 minutes late. WW was so sweet to hold up the meeting for us ~ he didn't have to.
We got everything settled at the meeting, then Jens, Lisa D, Leon and I went to dinner at Applebee's. Talked for a while, then we took them home. Jens left for the game, after dropping me off at our home. I basicially took it easy, as I was still worn out from the day before. She got home at around 10:30 pm, with the information that her team won 7 to 6. We watched some TV, talked a bit, and fell asleep.
That was our weekend. And we're still tired.
DeafNation Expo
Last weekend we had the DeafNation Expo here in St. Louis, MO. It was at the same location as last year ~ St. Charles Convention Center.
Jenifer, Jens and I shared a booth with two other ladies ~ we didn't get off to a good start. One of the original booth holders backed out, citing personal problems and the excuse that her kit hadn't arrived yet. She sold her share to another person, without talking to any of us first ~ and she took her time in telling the person who reserved the booth, and didn't even make an effort to let me know about it. I ended up having to confront her about it.
Anyway, I had told the booth appliciant to include Jens, and she didn't pay attention. She didn't even reply to the emails I sent her reminding her of Jens, and then had the nerve to be 'upset' with me for shoehorning Jens in. *sigh* I did feel bad for Jens at that time, but I had to force the appliciant to aknowledge her. Of course, I have to pay more than my share ~ just glad the other two told me not to worry.
And it was especially disheartening to hear that the other person saying that she wouldn't help me or Jenifer ~ I had to force her hand in recognizing us. I started by telling interested people about everything we were offering ~ The Angel Company, Arbonne, Stampin' Up!, Close To My Heart and Mary Kay. After a while, the other two women began to realize that I was bringing them business, and started including us in their spiel.
We all did pretty good ~ I was able to get rid of half the catalog supply I had, and both Jenifer and Jens got some experience.
I can honestly say that I had a pretty good time ~ even when my knee started hurting so much... at the end, I wasn't able to do much anymore and it was an effort to walk to my car after the Expo.
We went to dinner at Denny's with several other friends ~ Karole, my goddaughter K, Cass, Darlene, Lisa D, Leon and Parrish. We had a good time talking, laughing and chatting.
At the end, Jenifer, Jens and I went back home ~ we helped Jenifer load her truck, and then she stayed a while to talk. We did agree on one thing ~ next time we have a booth, it's just the three of us, period.
Jenifer went back home, and we watched Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and finally fell asleep at around 2 am.
Whew!
Sigh...
It seems that some people just never let go... there IS such a thing as being TOO obessive on some imagined insult or hurt, OR holding on to the past with a stranglehold.
Yep - it all came back up last week. I mean, come on. It all happened quite a while ago. No need to dwell on the past... just let it go. You don't have to forgive or forget ~ just let it go and move on. How hard can it be?
My choice of friends is MY choice ~ I don't care what people tell me I should or shouldn't do. It's my choice ~ I know that there are people that will always dislike (hate is such a strong word) other people, but that's the norm. I will always have friends that don't like my other friends, but that's MY choice. All I can do is be neutral in the problems between them ~ because I can see each other's side and the problem arising from that. However, it's person A to person B ~ I don't want to be person C stuck in between them.
They can work it out themselves OR leave each other alone. Usually, it's the best way to go. I always treasure each and every friend I have, and I'd rather work it out, if I can, or if possible. If not possible at that time, I can wait until some time has elapsed, and then see if it will or will not work out. If it works out, I'm happy to welcome that friend back. If it doesn't work out, I'm sad ~ and will always treasure the good times we've had together and still consider that person my friend. There's always hope that it will eventually work itself out.
I have some long-lasting friendships ~ we've always hit bumps and holes in those years, and we've always worked them out. Some of my friendships dates back to my formative years ~ and I treasure them just as much as I treasure my friendships developed in my way, way later years.
The past? I prefer to leave the past where it belongs ~ in the past. It's the present and future that counts ~ the past should be a tool in which we can learn from our mistakes and successes in developing and changing our future. I like to look in the past for its good memories ~ and check on whether I've 'grown up' or by how much I've developed and learned from then. All the hurts, the anger, the disappointments should be in the past, and stay there. It has no place in either the present or future, and should not be allowed to shape our future in a way that everything remains the same.
Where's the fun in anticipating in what the future hold for us, if we allow the past to remain in the present, so that the future will be the same as the past?
Ugh. No way.
The past is the past, and the past belongs in the past, period. We should live in the present, and look forward to what the promise in the future holds for us.
Ouch Ouch
Whurf ~ still sore this morning ~ lower back still hurts and knee still grumbling. Hot baths do help. So does the medicine.
Did some food/pharmacy shopping yesterday ~ still beating myself up for forgetting the bread... well, what do you expect? I'm a natural blonde, remember that.
Gotta remember the bread. Bread. Bread. Bread.
Over The Weekend
Whew ~ what a weekend.
Friday, did get a bit of a rest, then finished several projects to mail on Saturday. Hope they arrive on time!
Saturday ~ brother... went to Target, got some clothes for Jens and me, and two sets of shelves... then to Petsmart for cat food and litter, Ofice Max for business cards and then Kmart. We finally located the bikes we wanted, and they were on sale! Put them away in layaway, and got some snacks.
On to the Illinois side we went, over the bridge, to Jenifer's home. Cass was there, also, and we talked for a while, and toddled over to the Airliner for dinner.
Then back to Jenifer's home, and back to our projects... got several projects well on their way! Just need to get the pictures taken and mounted before I go any further.
Back home ~ late, late, late! Left most of the stuff in the car overnight... just brought in the leftover food and put it away.
Sunday, up with the cats ~ ate breakfast...and then got dressed and busy, busy and busy! Jens brought in the stuff from the car, while I divided and conquered the bags ~ got clothes ready for laundry, things to go down to the basement, and other stuff to be put away.
Then on to the basement we went ~ and EMPTIED out the whole freakin' storage room! We put together the shelves, put them where we wanted them, and moved the other shelf set with the damaged shelves in between the two big shelves.
Then more work ~ we put away boxes, moved stuff around, threw away boxes and some junk, and finally... the storage room is done! Now if only we could say the same thing for the rest of the basement... *sigh*
Well, we know that the basement will be done... EVENTUALLY.
Heh. Ouch.
